What's the chance?

I didn't go get the morning-after pill. Too tired and too upset to want to do anything. I guess it's too late now, since it has to be taken within a day or two, I think.

I pray that I won't be so unlucky. What's the chance of getting pregnant from just 1 encounter? Not that high, right?

He sms on Sunday to apologise. Sigh, what is there to apologise? It may be have been forced at that moment, but i wouldn't say I have not enjoyed it. *grin* But I din't reply him. It's good to keep a man guessing. LOL

Well, we shall see how it goes. Hopefully work will keep me occupied for the rest of the week!

Is he still mine?

He kissed me. Hesitantly at first. I didn't resist. How could I? His tongue felt at once so familiar and yet so distant. All the memories started coming back. Damn, we had been together for 4 years. 4 very good years!

As our tongues locked, he started moving his hands under my blouse. The exact same way he did 5 years ago. He unhooked my bra so expertly with his right hand. Not a bit different from how he used to. Even before he did it, I already knew his other hand would be reaching for my right breast.

Some things never changed. He has not changed a single bit after these 5 long miserable years! Not a bit. I remembered. He remembered. Was he deliberately trying to do things the old way to get me nostalgic? Or is this the way he has been making love to his wife the last 2 years?

I was crying by the time he pushed me down on the bed and unbuttoned my blouse. I thought I had forgotten how he made tender love to me after all these years. But I have not!

He removed my blouse and pulled both my hands over my head, using my bra to "tie" both my wrists together. I didn't struggle. I put my wrists together instinctively. I knew what was coming. I have not forgotten, baby! I have not! I could not!

He suckled hungrily at my breasts. The right, the left, then the right again. So familiar. So methodical. But oh so heart-breaking!

He kissed me down further and further. Right to my panties and then removed it with his teeth and hands. He looked up at me in surprise when he could not see any black forest. Has he forgotten that he prefer me naked down there, because he likes the vulnerable look of my cleanly-shaved pussy?

I have not forgotten, Darling. Not at all! I shaved myself clean, like a little good girl, just this morning before seeing him. Was I anticipating that he would bring me to this hotel? Was I waiting to be f**ked? Was I a husband snatched? What was I thinking as I put on the shaving cream this morning? I don't know. I really don't want to know!

He lapped up my pussy like a hungry dog. He forced his tongue in. I wrapped my thighs tightly around his head. He used to say that I have strong thighs that can suffocate any man. I wish I can suffocate him there and then. I hate you, Baby. I hate you!

I was crying. Moaning. Reminiscing. Then I came. There and then. Barely a few minutes. It was a departure. Never before had he been able to make me come with his tongue alone. Was I too sexually deprived after 1 year without a man? Or has his skill improved after lots of training with his wife????

His face came into my view. Soaked. He kissed me, like he used to. Only this time, I could discern the salty taste of my tears amidst my cunt juice. I didn't like the taste. I don't like crying! I didn't asked him the obligatory question. He answered my non-existent question nevertheless: "You tasted yummy, Darling"! I had to bite my lips hard to stop my tears from flowing down more.

He wanted to enter me. Somehow, I forgot that was coming. Getting that earth-shattering climax had somehow made me regain some composure. I held his head and said only 3 words: "YOU ARE MARRIED"!

He replied with only 2 words: "I know"! You know??? You know!!! Then why the hell are you still trying to screw me? I suddenly felt a strong sense of revulsion overwhelming me. I wanted to leave. Right that instant!

He was strong. He held my "tied" hands with just one hand. I couldn't see his other hand. But I needn't. I knew right where it was. It was holding on to his dick, adjusting it, probing, finding the entrance that he so craved. We used to do that all the time. Mock rape, we called it. Only this time, it didn't seem mock at all! I really didn't want to go ahead! No! Not after I regain my sanity. Not after his "I know", instead of "I love you"!

He didn't seem to know the difference between fake and real. Or maybe he did, but he couldn't care less. He penetrated me. Just like that.

I could feel his warmth inside me. I could feel it stretching me all over again. I squeezed instinctively. He groaned and smiled. He said: "You are tight, Darling"! That's a new phrase. Is his wife very loose? Why did he sound so satisfied? Has he been screwing a loose cunt for 2 years? I asked him point blank. He mumbled an "erm huh". What is "erm huh"? Can someone tell me?

I was resisting and fighting fruitlessly. He pounded on, seemingly oblivious of my begging: "You are married. You are..". He kept repeating himself: "I know, I know..". Did he get extra satisfaction knowing that he was f**king a gal other than his wife? He eventually shut me up with his lips. I bit them real hard.

It didn't take him long. 5 Minutes, I guessed, versus his usual 15. Why? Has his loose wife been depriving him? Or was it just the forbidden fruit syndrome? I could feel the pulsation. The throbbing. He didn't wear a condom. He didn't withdraw. He didn't even bother to ask me if it was my peak period! It was!!!!

He didn't forget to clean up after partaking his meal. He didn't forget his manners. Yeah, I trained him well. He licked me clean. His dripping sperm, my dripping juice. All of it. He tried to kiss me again. This time, I resisted. I glared at him. He asked me oh so innocently: "what's wrong"? I ticked him off coldly: "You have just raped me! Now that's what's wrong"!!!

It took him a while to realise that I was serious. I stared at him without a word. He got the cold feet and started apologising profusely. It went on for a while. I grabbed my phone by the bedside. He must have thought I was going to dial 999. He broke into cold sweat, right there. I look at his now tiny weeny dick. I laughed out loud inside. I was merely trying to check the time on my handphone!

But outwardly, I maintain my coldness. I was not angry. How could I be? I have always been his. He was the first man who f**ked me. I was already his 9 years ago！ For life - that was what I vowed, when I gave him my virginity. I am still available now. But he is not。 He belongs to another woman now!

I told him coldly: "Should I be telling your wife you raped me? Or would you rather do that yourself"? He didn't say a word. He knew how to melt my heart. He suckled at my bosom softly, like a little boy. That's our way of "after-play". He remembered even that too!

I really don't know what to say, or what to do. Apart from the emotional tangle, I have not forgotten that I will be at my peak tomorrow!

What am I supposed to do? Get a morning-after pill tomorrow? Where? Do the polyclinics open on Sundays? Does the clinic down my block dispense it?

What should I do if he calls again?

Oh my God, what have I done?

what to do?

3/11/07
Bumped into ex at Vivocity. He is married now. His wife is an ugly bitch!

6/11/07
Ex asked me out for dinner. He complained about his wife. I think he regretted making the wrong choice. LOL. He has not changed after all these years. Neither have I. He showed me his wife's photo. Yeah! Confirmed an ugly bitch!

15/11/07
He asked me out again.

21/11/07
and again!

23/11/07
and again!

24/11/07
and again! He walked the esplanade with me to the place where we first kissed. I nearly cried. Why do you want to do this to me? Why?

26/11/07
God Help Me! Please! I think I am falling for him all over again. He too! His wife is an ugly bitch! Really! Ugly like sh*t!

2/12/07
I did wrong today. Very very wrong. But is he more wrong or am I? He is married. I am single! Why can't his wife just go away? I am better than her - in looks, in education, in bed!

7/12/07
Why are you punishing me, God? Why make me meet him again? Why? Life is meaningless. I have sinned. AGAIN! 2nd time in 1 week! I pray his wife will never find out. I don't feel good about what happened. Not at all! But, I knew him first, you bitch! Way way before you! HE WAS MINE! Sigh!

Networking

I went to the internaional bar association meetings last week. Boring! Now I know why nobody in office volunteered to go! And why I was "volunteered" to go there by big boss!

I was supposed to be there for networking purpose. Boss was thinking of branching to do inter country transaction in Asia, especially China. I was the one tasked to do it, because my Chinese is the most passable among them, a few of whom aren't even Chinese.. LOL

The thing is: there weren't many lawyers from China at the meeting. Waste of money if you ask me. But well, getting away from work was a welcoming respite while it lasted. The only problem now is to catch up with all the backlogs!

Looks like I will be ignoring my blog for a while again. Haha!

Oh, I got to see Chee sparring with Jaya too. But I can't be bothered to listen. Please spare me the politics! I will really fall asleep! LOL

All jobs suck!

So, today I met up with that Lao Shi earlier in the evening. Sigh, don't know how to say. Seems like each job has its own problem.

Here I was bitching to him about my low-life job and trying to sound out the idea of crossing over to teaching, and there he was, complaining about his crazy students to him.

Seems like he is having problem with both his students and his HOD. He may be leaving the field to go back to the private sector. I guess I was getting advice from the wrong person!

On another note, I don't know if my woman's instinct is correct. I think this Lao Shi does secretly like me to call him "Lao Shi"! I think he enjoys the idea of a grown woman pretending to be a little girl. The vulnerability of a young girl in a woman's body. Something like that. Hard to explain. It's more of a woman's 6th sense thing.

I said to him "Lao Shi, Zhai Jian" in my most teasing voice. just before I left his car. I think I saw a "reaction" at that "place". LOL!

Lao Shi, if you are reading this blog, you know I am talking about you. Haha! Oh, I try reading your blog too. But what the hell are you talking about?. For every 10 lines, I catch one line. Hey, my Chinese is not bad, it's your fault! You are writing in ancient Chinese grammar using ancient Chinese character! Tsk tsk.

My job sucks!

So, it looks like I have abandoned my blog for 8 months. Sigh! How to put it? I guess this has to do with the problem of working in the legal line. Day in, Day out, everyday deals with words and language. I just somehow get sick of writing again when I finally reach home!

Friends inevitably think that law is a very glamorous career reserved for people who are very good in English and who love arguing everyday. Not so! That's the image of lawyers arguing cases in criminal court cases. But that's not how most of us work in the legal sector.

Unlike in Singapore, where only the elite few can get into NUS law faculty and therefore it can pick only those with super good English, it's not that difficult to get into law schools in UK. Sure, one has to pass GP, but writing grammatical queen's English is much much less important than the ability to form coherent arguments and getting good overall grades, in gaining admission to law schools. Maybe this explains why acquaintance are forever so surprise when I tell them I am a lawyer. LOL

Ok, to be fair to myself, my English is not really bad, even if it is not the A1 type. Most of their surprises have to do with the fact that I do not appear to be an argumentative person. Hey people, you guys watch too much Law and Order! The simple truth is that most of us do not argue cases in court. Many of us work in companies as legal counsels, helping to draft legal contracts. And many work in family law, handling divorce. Yet another field is in making real estates' legal transaction. Anyway, you get the idea. For me, I do not quite like to argue, in fact. Moi is an easy going person. LOL

But I digress. Where was I? Oh, glamorous！ Excuse me. for those of us in the property field, there is nothing glamorous at all handling mundane legal transaction regarding properties every day! Trust me on that. I used to handle properties a few years back!

I am doing no better now. Nowadays, I handles family law. Every other day, I have to console a crying wife contemplating divorce. I end up more like a social worker than a lawyer! Or a weeping mother trying to wrestle custody from the father. Or some bitchy women trying to get more money from ex-husband, not because they are poor, but to get the guys to pay back for their adultery. And of course, I, have to be the evil + bitchy lawyer to help them suck more money from their ex-husbands!

Some men do deserve it, and in those cases, I relish doing what I am instructed to do. But sometimes, it's clear cut that I am dealing with a woman that I, too, would walk out of, if I were her husband! That's when I pity the man and hate my job.

Where's the meaning in life? To do something meaningful and helpful instead of doing what your client wants, regardless of whether you think is meaningful or not?

No wonder I never feel the mood to write, after coming home from work! I just don't want to face the written world again!

Recently, I seriously started contemplating becoming a teacher. Yeah, that advertisement got to me - do something meaningful with your life, Teach!

I understand that they need loads of English teachers. Hmmm, maybe I should try. Gotta ask that Lao Shi more about it. Been in contact with him via email now and then. But didn't meet up with him since June. Who knows, maybe he has forgotten this little girl? LOL

Ok, enough ranting.

Good night, world! Time to get my beauty sleep ;)

Second Day of The New Year!

Second day was a boring day. Oh well, initially at least. Sis went out with her darling to do some PR with her future parents-in-laws. Little bro asked me which new gal he should go "sian". He showed me all their photos. Sometimes, I really dont understand all these gullible xiao mei mei. They all sent their photos to my bro even though they had not met him. He was just a stranger on friendster, or someone who chanced upon their blog and msn them. Really is breast big no brain -- not like me, got breast got brain. Ahem. haha.

Well, so I picked a sweet looking thing for him. Some 17 yr old petite jc girl that I would have gone for, if I were a guy. He preferred another one who has bigger breasts, tinted hairs and dress like a whore. I had to remind him that she probably is a better target for a one-night-stand, than the long term relationship he is looking for. My bro is lucky - he got an experienced big sis to give him all the advice he need.

And so, I ended up alone at home keeping mom and dad company :( How pathetic can it get? In the end, I couldnt tahan -- called that Lao Shi to see if he can come out with me. Sigh. me desperate until have to ask a 40+ yr old man out! But hmm, actually, age is an advantage for men leh, I think. I like the intellectual type of men, and this lao shi happens to have lots of interesting experience in life. Sometimes, it is fun to listen to him give me "lecture", and to let him "teaches" whatever he wants - abt religion, philosophy, travel, and the work he used to do before becoming a teacher etc. Can learn quite a lot of things. Oh well, I think I will blog about my adventure with him another time -- I havent even finished writing abt my first date with him, which I promised him I would and that was like 3 months ago!

Lao Shi was busy with his .... when I called, but ok lah, he came out with me for a mid-night movie, and some supper and we had some ... after that. All in all, the day ended well, I must say. lol. hahaha! *wink*

I ate a lot today too. And supper somemore! Oh, I finished all the pineapple tarts in one day. haha. I think sure put on at least 1-2 kilo. That lao shi said my waist seem to have grown larger compared to the last time when he "measured" it. haha. Oops, must start dieting after this 15 days of celebration :(

First Day of The New Year!

First day of the New Year! As is the custom of my family, we went house visiting one whole day. It was fun. I mean, heck, for many of my cousins, this is the first time I see them in a year -- as it turned out, there was no wedding, and hence no wedding dinner, among the relatives the whole of last year, haha. So it's quite fun to update each other's life once a year. Sort of like reading a blog once a year only. Wah, the amt of info-overload. haha!

Bro was bored though. Of course la, its all girls' talk mah. My gal cousins are quite close to sis and I, during our younger days. Now that we are all so busy, we just have to make use of such visitings to catch up on our gossips. Wah, in one day, I got updates of who has just broken up and who is going to get married with whom and who is going overseas to work soon. Oh, I also found out which restaurant serve the best steak, and which is good for pak tor purpose. haha.

Grandma's place was the most fun, as usual, 'cos that's where we get to see most of the cousins all at once, since everybody has to go visit her. We chased Bro out and then Angie showed us the sexy bra and matching tongs that her darling gave her for valentines. Wah. Bought from Victoria Secret from USA leh. Apparently her man was on a business trip there last december and took the time off to get them for her. They are a reddish kind of purple. I was soooo envious. Not of the bra or tongs la. I can get them myself. But ren jia de man is soooo romantic. Hmm, time to settle down and get a permanent man, I think.

Anyhow, we kept teasing her to show us how she had aroused him while wearing them. Oh, she revealed that the poor guy couldn't last for more than a minute, after entering her. hahahaha! I say "poor guy" not because he could not control himself after seeing her strip-dancing for 5 minutes in her valentines present. But rather because this gal seem not to know how to keep her mouth shut! How can tell us such things? That poor guy was talking to her parents at that time in the living room leh! And so, the next thing we all did, was to pop our heads out to take a good look at this 1-minute guy! See lah -- poor guy! lol.

I am the good one. In any gossipy conversation, I generally let other gals do the talking, absorb all the info and then rebroadcast the juicier bits -- like what i am doing now. lol. But I don't reveal anything about myself leh. keke. Well, anyway, in this case, even if I had wanted to, there was nothing to say about myself. Broke up, no new steady, what was there to talk about? I couldn't be telling them about my mini-flings and "few-weeks-stands", can I? ;)

And it's again eat eat eat. 2nd aunty made very good pinapple tarts. cannot resist one leh. She asked me to bring some home, so I of course bu4 ke4 qi4. This type of thing, how can ke4 qi4? lol. Then we gambled at 5th uncle's house. Gin Rummy. We played big - 1 "dot" $1. I won nearly $200. Woohoo! What a far cry from those childhood days when my counsins and I played like 1 "dot" 1 cent! haha. 100 times more now leh. But ok lah, we are not gambling addicts and playing for fun once a year is not going to make use addicts.

My New Year's eve

No updates for nearly two months. Can't believe I have really been that busy! OK, I took leave for 1 whole week to celebrate New Year. So i think I shall update my blog a bit bit to let friends know that I am still alive and well and kicking! haha.

So what have you guys been doing this New Year? Moi has been eating! Yeah, eat eat eat non-stop since the reunion dinner. Oh, this year, we had the dinner at Tung Lok restaurant. Dad wanted to try something different and let Mom have a break. But me yah, forever the little girl, still prefer mummy's food leh! :(

No lah, keke, actually, it's the homely atmosphere that I prefer. I mean, you can't wear shorts and be barefooted when you eat out, can you? Plus we have to rush to finish our dinner so that the 2nd batch of diners can have theirs, after we leave. tsk tsk.

And then, since we were already out, we went to see the Hong Bao marina thingy. Quite interesting, since I had not been to one for some years. The Chinese "lantern riddles" (Deng Mi) was intersting to watch, though I couldn't guess any of them, and even after the answers were revealed, I could understand why they were so only half the time! haha. My chinese is really bad, though I don't think I am a banana -- which means I don't look down on my own culture la -- see the previous post.

Sigh, sis was holding hands with her darling and wisphering mushy mushy dunno-what into his ears, even in such a crowded place! Damn, when will my prince in shiny armour appear? The last one was long gone :(

Then little bro keep bio-ing other gals and keep telling me, this one breast big, that one sexy legs. I had to remind him that his own sis has even bigger breast and sexier legs, and too bad, they are not for him.. ever! lol.

Then of course, everybody went wah wah wah at the fireworks lor. And that's how the last day of the old year went. Another day, another year!

Hmm, I wrote this on Wed, but I think I will backdate it to reflect the correct day when the event occured.

Banana

ELECTRIC NEWS
December 24, 2006
'Paris syndrome' makes some Japanese sick

FOR a handful of Japanese, visiting Paris can result in a culture shock so bad that they suffer mental breakdowns.

Called the 'Paris Syndrome', it hits polite Japanese tourists who encounter unexpectedly rude Parisians or find that the French capital isn't all that they expect it to be.

The experiences can be so traumatic for some that they experience hallucinations, the BBC reported.

'There are around 20 cases a year of the syndrome and it has been happening for several years,'Japanese Embassy spokesman Miyupi Kusama told the Guardian.

Just this year, at least four Japanese visitors have been repatriated and accompanied by doctors and nurses for the trip because of the shock they suffer.

The syndrome occurs because many Japanese come with a deeply-romantic vision of Paris, which they picture to have quaint cobbled streets, beautiful French women, and is filled with high culture and art.

But the reality can be extremely jarring.

For example, a Japanese visitor, who is not used to rudeness, can get hit by Paris Syndrome after an encounter with a rude taxi driver, or being yelled at by a waiter just because they stumble at speaking in French.

Coming from a culture where people are generally polite and helpful, experiences like this in an alien country can be too much for a Japanese visitor to handle.

'Fragile travellers can lose their bearings. When the idea they have of the country meets the reality of what they discover it can provoke a crisis,' Mr Herv Benhamou, a psychologist, told Le Journal du Dimanche.

The syndrome was first identified by Professor Hiroaki Ota, a Japanese psychiatrist working in France, about 20 years ago.

Most at risk are women in their 30s who usually have high expectations of what may be their first overseas trip.

'In Japanese shops, the customer is king, whereas here assistants hardly look at them,' explained Mr Bernard Delage of Jeunes Japon, an association that helps Japanese families settle in France.

'(In Paris), people using public transport all look stern, and handbag snatchers increase the ill-feeling.'

I call this the banana syndrome. When bananas - yellow on the outside, white on the inside - realise that the white men and women whom they have imagined for years to be like gods, are just ordinary humans like their fellow Asians, this is what happens.

And in Asia, Japanese gals, followed by Taiwanese gals are real cock-suckers of white men. As for Singaporean gals, keke, they basically suck the dick of any man outside South-East Asia and China - which means the Japs, the Koreans and of course the Westerners. Not me though. I like "bananas", but not this type. It's the other type that I like. *slurp slurp* ;)

Sayang Poor Man

Here's the report on the poor husband.

The Electric Newpaper
By Maureen Koh
November 20, 2006

HE says he sometimes feels like he is 'a monster' when his wife rejects his advances.

Yet, he insists that he has not done anything against his conscience.

When contacted for his side of the story, the 41-year-old owner of a provision shop said: 'I don't see what I did was wrong.

'I'm her lawful husband and with that, comes my right to expect sex. That's normal.'

He added that he loves his wife and that was why he refrained from having pre-marital sex with her.

'I knew she came from a traditional family background where sex was a taboo subject. So despite being tempted, we never went that far when we were dating,' he said.

He said he did not expect things to turn so ugly.

When his wife complained about asthma, he said he even consulted the family doctor who said it was fine for someone who is asthmatic to have regular sex.

He admitted that his feeling of hurt by constant rejection soon turned to fury.

'I felt so insulted. She would have this look of absolute disgust on her face when I touched her.

'Of course, I was furious. How do you expect me to react?'

Despite this, he claimed he had never looked at other women.

'If I wanted to, I could.

'But I don't do that because our marriage is still sacred to me.

'So what did I do wrong?'

LOST HIS MIND

As for the alleged violence and forced sex during the period when the PPO was issued, he said: 'I lost my mind because I was confused.

'She did not not leave our marital home. She even shared the same bed with me.

'I thought she was merely venting her anger when she applied for the order.'

He is aware of her conflicting emotions over their son.

'I want our marriage to work too. I still love her,' he said.

.......

The moral of this true life story is simple: A guy should have sex before marriage, to check if his gal is sexually compatible with him! Sex is a part of normal human life and I, am not embarrassed at all to say that I love sex leh. lol. Especially when there is something kinky to it, such as forbidden fruit, some light bondage, some new location... *wink*

Anyway, poor man. You leave your mad wife lah. Come to me. I sayang you and give you a good time (if you are my type of guy). lol

Shit woman

This is definitely *not* your typical case of marital rape. This crazy women refuses to have sex with her husband right from day 1.

The Electric New Paper
By Maureen Koh
November 20, 2006

SHE has an unusual relationship with her five-month-old son. Unlike the typical mum, she doesn't dote on him.

Indeed, she sometimes harbours thoughts of strangling him. And it stems from her unusual relationship with her husband of six years.

Madam Lim, 31, says she loves her husband but hates having sex with him. He ended up forcing herself on her.

The baby was the result of one of those forced trysts, hence her ambivalent feelings towards him.

She feels hatred and shame over the marital rape - and the baby is a constant reminder of that. She finds it painful to cuddle him and hardly does that.

During our interview, the chilly distance she set up between them is apparent. She seldom looked at him and did not once pick him up.

Madam Lim (whose real name is withheld) said she was raped despite obtaining a personal protection order from a court to stop her husband's repeated sexual assaults.

While marital rape is not deemed a crime at present, lawyers say that Madam Lim may well have a case against her husband if such attacks continue after the proposed changes to Singapore's criminal laws come into force. (See report on pPage 4.)

She spoke to The New Paper on Sunday at the home of her mother, who is taking care of the baby on weekdays.

When the boy started crying, Madam Lim stopped this reporter from going near him.

'My mother can take care of him,' she said, before calling out to the elderly woman.

Though the baby is not with her on weekdays, she is still living with her husband.

'I know this sounds crazy, but I still love my husband,' she said. Initially, she was reluctant to talk about her ordeal. She later agreed to be interviewed because she wanted to encourage other wives like her to seek help.

'The first two months after I gave birth were terrible,' said the petite woman, who works as a clerk. 'I could not even bear to bring myself to breastfeed the baby. I didn't want to have anything to do with him.'

Fortunately, she sought counselling help.

Ms Adeline Goh from Counselling and Care Centre said: 'She took some time to share what was really bothering her. At first, we thought she was merely suffering from post-natal blues.'

It was only at the fourth session, a month later, that 'the whole picture came to light'.

It turned out that Madam Lim had allegedly been forced into having sex repeatedly by her husband, who is 10 years older than her, during their six-year marriage.

Madam Lim said: 'At first, I just went with it even though I didn't enjoy sex. If I had a choice, I'd avoid it completely. It was very difficult for me. I'd feel so tense before it and depressed after.'

She found sex painful and also thought it would worsen her asthmatic condition, which she had suffered since she was a kid.

Her aversion to sex soon took a toll on their relationship.

In a separate interview, her husband, 41, who runs a provision store, said: 'It didn't make sense to me. How can she claim to love me yet find having sex with me a total torture?'

Dressed in a polo T-shirt and jeans, the soft-spoken man with a clean-cut look looked younger than his age.

He added: 'I'm faithful to my wife... I don't visit prostitutes or fool around with other women. Whatever she wants, I'd give to her.' (Full interview on Page 4.)

Other than the alleged rapes, Madam Lim agreed her husband had treated her well.

The couple dated for two years before getting hitched. Married life in the first year was fine.

She said: 'When we were dating, he never indicated that sex was critical. The furthest we indulged in was kissing and petting.

'I have a conservative family background. My mother had always warned me not to engage in pre-marital sex.'

It didn't take long before things starting turning awry in the marriage. He wanted to have sex every week but most times she would turn him away.

'Every attempt at sex was a tense affair that would turn into horrible fights.

'It started with him getting mad when I refused to have sex. He'd storm out of the house and not return till the early morning. Then he'd not talk to me for two or three days.'

Though she admitted being worried about driving him into the arms of another woman, she still could not bring herself to have sex with him.

The cold war gradually turned abusive.

Madam Lim said: 'He began to hurl insults, calling me all kinds of names. He would ask if I was 'cold' down there, or if I knew I was frigid.

'He even accused me of being a lesbian because of my close relationship with a female ex-colleague.'

Hurt by his taunting, she withdrew even more from him.

DRUNKEN STUPOR

About two years ago, she said her husband returned home in a drunken stupor one night.

'I tried to help him into the shower but he pushed me out,' she said.

However, he called her into their room about half an hour later and tried to be intimate with her. When she started to squirm and resist, he apparently became rough.

He ripped off her nightdress and also shouted abuse at her.

'My heart turned cold when he humiliated me, not only with his words, but with his hands. Then he forced himself on me,' she said, covering her face with her hands.

'I felt so dirty after that, but there was no one I could talk to. I didn't know what to do.'

She was asleep when it happened a second time three weeks later. The physical and mental abuse hurt terribly and she decided to return to her mother's home the next morning.

To her shock, she was told that it was her fault.

'My mother told me I had failed in my duty as a wife.'

Her mother-in-law visited later that evening, and both women advised her not to be so 'ren xing' (wilful in Mandarin).

'My mother-in-law even suggested I was having an affair! I could not believe my ears,' she said.

WON'T RETURN HOME

At first, she refused to go home for about two weeks. But she relented after her younger sister advised her to give the marriage another chance.

'It was that or file for a divorce,' she said, adding that she still has a soft spot for her husband despite what he did.

In February last year, she ran into her cousin. 'I broke down and confided in her. She advised me to take a PPO against him,' she said.

When her husband found out about the court order, he felt betrayed. But he did stop hurting her for a while.

'So I continued sharing the same bed. But in the end, he went back to his ways despite saying he wouldn't,' said Madam Lim.

She said she was allegedly forced to have sex twice after she got the court order.

Later, she found out she was pregnant.

'I was filled with both joy and hate. I was caught between wanting to keep the baby and aborting it,' she said.

In the end, she chose to keep the baby. They didn't have sex during her pregnancy and 'slowly, he became less of a monster to me', she said.

Just when it looked like life would improve, Madam Lim said she started to develop a hatred for the baby.

'I couldn't help looking at him without thinking of the abuses. I felt dirty. I felt the baby was dirty too. He was not conceived out of love, but from disgusting filth.'

She added: 'It's not like I completely dislike sex, just that I don't enjoy it. I think if there is protection for married women against rape by their husbands, I'd probably not have to suffer so much.'

She hopes they would be able to work things out amicably. 'The good thing is, my husband has stopped trying to have sex with me.'

Sharing her ordeal with a counsellor has helped too, she said.

'At least I don't feel like it's my fault for rejecting him. I still can't bear for him to touch me. It will take some time before I can overcome that disgust. I'm learning to forgive him.'

Bitch, you are a terrible shame to our kind! You are abnormal. No, make that defective. Don't use your "conservative" upbringing as an excuse. Even your own mother thinks you are a wierdo! If you don't want to have sex and don't want to have a baby - which is not to say that marriage is only abt these 2 things - why the !@#$ do you want to get married? For some free meal and monthly allowance? Must be lah! Geez! And till today, you think you are not at fault. Such audacity! You should be eradicated from the face of this earth.

Sex is beautiful. Sex is good. Sex is shiok! And it's not just for men! And for that matter, I love oral sex too - when it is performed on me, I mean, lol, though I don't mind givinig heads either. What to do? It's always a "give and take" situation, right? Oh, and I absolutely adore orgasms *slurp*. Why would any normal woman not love sex? (though I think I am a highly-sexed nymph ;)

But, of course you poor little miserable frigid piece of a sorry ass has never experienced one before, have you? Words are not enough for my disgust with you. So I will let the title say it all

Sex is more impt than current affairs

I am busy, very busy *sob* The super long detailed - as per Soldier's cheeky request - blind date juicy gossip will just have to wait. Meanwhile, I want to blog briefly about two things.

1. GST is rising by 2%

2%? Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen, do you people know how to count? If your salary is $5,000, and it increases to $10,000, it has increased by 100% (doubled), right? If it goes up to $7,500, it has increased by 50% (50% of $5000 is $2,500). So, tell me, if it increases from $5,000 to $7,000, has it gone up by 2%? "Your brain bag got problem" (as they say in Chinese) is it? GST is rising by 40%! Geez, did you people pass PSLE math?

Typical PSLE question:
You have 5 apples. Now, you get 2 more apples. How many percent more apples do you now have?

Fomula taught by primary school math teacher:
% inc or dec = (new val - old val) / old val * 100.

(7-5)/5*100 = 40%
You have 40% more apples than you previously had!

This means that for every $10 GST you paid previously, you now have to pay $4 more (40% of $10 = $4). You will *not* be paying just $0.20 more (2% of $10 = $0.20). Haiz, I illustrate for you, K?

Ah Beng bought a handphone costing $200 before gst. He paid 5% gst = 5/100*200 = $10.

Ah Lian wait till gst is raised before buying the same handphone. She will pay 7% gst = 7/100*200 = $14. So Ah Lian pays $4 more GST than Ah Beng.

In fact, if Ah Beng had paid $100 gst, Ah lian will pay $140 gst. $40 more than previously. It's always 40% more gst than previously.

Well, anyway, 2% or 40% really doesn't matter. Gullible and naive people - who read only Straits Times and believe every word in it - deserve to be bullied. And that's what matters! And so of course, I am not going to do anything (eg. stage a protest *horror*) other than rant on this blog. Afterall, I am a high earning low-life liar (read my profile), unaffected by the negligible "2% increase", remember? lol. 66.6% of you people screwed yourself real good. So, serve you right! Now, please, get out of my ..... face! I have more cocks to suck, more balls to carry, and more orgasm to enjoy than to listen to your whining. Besides, the nearest MRT track is just a stone throw away. Just pick the one you like, so long as your gruesome corpse does not appear in my sight. Otherwise, I may throw up the $300 2-person dinner I had at Jade a few days ago. Btw, don't bitch to me, K? What's $300 per dinner - Cheap Cheap lah! No big deal. And so long as it is no big deal to me, I can't be bothered if is a big deal to you to be able to put a simple dinner on the table for your kids. So, it's more of the same old good stuff for me. Vote for a change? Over my dead body! Hmm, sorry hor, actually, it should be over your dead body. I am a high earning...

2. Talking about the wee-wee saga, I want to recommend this post by Whisper. Of all response, this is the most humourous, in my not-so-humble opinion. hehe...


OK, done. Back to sex and romance. Like most - but not all, and I have just named Ms. Whisper as an exception - women, I am also not that interested in current affairs because... erm, sex and romance comes first mah. Current affairs cannot replace a good orgasm, can it? ;) I mean, current affairs will never affect me (I am invincible to retrenchment. Really. I am a high earning...), but an orgasm can shake my body upside down, throw my entire universe into upheaval and consume me entirely leh *slurp slurp*

"lao shi..... lao shi...... LAO SHI......."

P.S. And don't you people ever dare call me cheap! :( 66.6% of singaporeans - majority of whom are women (ask young chicks and lao aunties around you about their interest in current affairs to verify) - agreed with me, k! lol. We are in the majority. Yay, yay, yay!

Blind Date II

...and I would have agreed, had he not ordered from the set menu! lol. Okie lah, to be fair, I agree with his defence that his time would be better spent "chatting up a charming gal" than poring over the à la carte menu. How can I not agree? I am indeed charming wat! lol. Ok lah, not 10/10, but I think I can, ahem, without abashment, give myself a 7/10, right? (And that's already being very modest hor. Most men I asked gave me an 8 or 9 leh, which I am quite satisfied with, assuming they had been honest. Hmm, sometimes I wonder...

I took a glance at the prices while he was conversing with the waitress. This guy "lion open big mouth" leh. He chose a $108+++ per person set menu - the price range was from, I think, around $80 to $120. But I was ok with it lah. It's not that I eat in restaurant everyday, and besides, most of the time, it's guys who treat me, rather than the other way round :)

Hmm, I must say the lobster was delicious, though I think it's because I like the salsa that accompanied it. The shark's fin was superb too and it was prepared the way I like - without crab meat - and yeah, I gave the fish maw that came with it a missed. I must say compared to him, I am quite a small eater leh. After the 3rd dish (fish), I was more or less full. I practically let soldier boy have almost all of my share of the lamb (or was it beef? haiz whatever, since I didn't like this one) and noodle, and in return, I took most of his coconut ice-cream dessert. Yummy.


Overall quite ok lah, though I think this is not authentic Chinese food leh. It's more like a fusion of east and west, neither here nor there, a bastardised version of true chinese food, if you pardon my use of language! And, it's not just the style of cooking leh. Even the presentation is not authentic, for e.g. the various dishes did not come all at once, nor was rice served. It's more like those chinese wedding dinners, minus the big plates which everybody part-take in - in this case, the dishes came directly in individual portions, with each course cleared before the next course served. Very western style.

Soldier said it's "new-age" chinese cuisine. Erm, ok, Moi may be "new-age" in other things *wink*, but when it comes to chinese food, I like "old-age" leh! More authentic mah. And how can chinese food not come with rice :( I want my rice! Next time we try something traditional, ok? :)

So in between bites, we chatted. Starting with the "formalities" i.e. which blogs we read, what blogs we like and then to other "neccesities" of first dates, singapore-style: work, education background and family status. haha.

He said I can blog about anything except his work, particularly the school that he is teaching at. Not even the general region can be mentioned 'cos he said he has a lao shi image that he needs to protect. Poor thing. Haha.

I told him how NUS apparently found my English too lousy(?!) for its law faculty, but how I managed to get into a law school in England (such irony)! Told him how I missed those care-free student days. That's when he tried to be cheeky and asked me if it is true that many singaporean undergrads sleep around while in UK, like what he "heard from (his) many ex students"!

True or not, lao shi? Don't lie lah. I don't believe you heard that from anybody. I think you are just trying to get me to talk dirty to you! lol. But I think you succeeded leh, 'cos I told you how I lost my "innocence" (ok, virginity is the right word) less than a month after arriving in UK.. Aiya away from home mah, no parents to watch over, no siblings to share room with. What you expect?

He told me about his overseas days too, when he did his Masters in Chinese Studies in Beijing. But unlike me who "sampled" quite a bit of western "meat", he poor thing leh, he did not have a single fling with any "little dragon girl" during his entire time there, 'cos his wife was by his side. haha! Poor Soldier boy *tease*

By the way, I was of course not surprised that he was married. I mean, please lah, a 44-year old educated man in a white-collar job - what do you expect? The only million dollar question is: is he still married or has he divorced?

That, I shall leave it till the next post. Me bad....

Blind date I

Okie, that was really a long and eventful night :) I don't even know where to begin! But I promised Soldier that I will blog about it in details, to let him know how i felt about the entire, erm, "incident"(?). So here it goes.

I think I will start with a brief background introduction for the uninformed, since I am a very considerate gal :) Briefly, about a week ago, I took the ideas (ok, and content too) of my first few posts from this blogger called Soldier. But Soldier, apart from gently chiding me for "plagiarism", has been quite diplomatic and gentlemanly about the whole thing. Perhaps it's because he is 44 yrs old and can't be bothered with the antics of a little girl? Or maybe because he is a teacher and therefore used to naughty pupils? *shrugged*

Anyhow, I felt rather remorseful - I do have a soft spot for men who give in to me. Really hor. So I emailed him and, to keep a long story short, let's just say, the end result of the email exchanges was that I would make it up to him by treating him to dinner on Friday night!

He suggested a chinese restaurant (Jade) at Fullerton hotel, a stone throw away from where Moi works. I almost threw up my lunch in laughter after reading his email, 'cos the last time someone wooed me with chinese food was... never! I mean, French, Italian, Mexican, yeah, but Chinese? Erm, Soldier boy, isn't that reserved for wedding dinners?

Instantly, the image of a nerdy middle aged Chinese soldier (oops, I mean "gentleman") conjured up in my mind. haha. But, what the heck, I promised to let him choose the venue and the food, cannot back out last minute, right? So, I "courageously" agreed to this 8:00pm rendezvous :)

I was early, by choice. Damn, the entire place was really "people mountain people sea, make the water no entry" (人山人海，水洩不通）! How come? Hotels has become a new pastime venue for Singaporeans? Geez

I have been to the hotel before, but not its Chinese restaurant. Anyhow, I took some time to calm myself in the ladies, and touched up on my lipstick and makeup. Hey, I am not vain, ok. But you must understand mah, it has really been a long time since Moi last went on a blind date!

Then, I "nonchalantly" strode into the restaurant, and there he was - a foot-soldier in shiny armour! Hahaha. Kidding. Anyhow, I knew it was him when I saw him. He has this Chinese lao shi look. Hmm, a bit like the younger version of our former president, that type lah. lol.

The usual "Hello", "I am so and so", and the obligatory hand shakes. He ordered the food, since apparently, he thinks he is the expert when it comes to Chinese cuisine...

(to be continued. must "hang your addiction" a bit, Soldier. Me bad. ;)

So many men want me

Why some guy wants to meet me (see his comment in previous post) (Latest note: post removed), I dont know. But I think it means I still have some charm lah. As they say, "precious sabre not old yet". Very pleased with myself :)

But alas, I must leave him till next time, because tonight I am going to meet that soldier uncle first. Wah, so excited. I think I must specially dress up so that he will melt and forgive me the moment he sees me. hehe.

The last time I had a blind date was 10 years ago! Well, that's a story for another time. Anyway, now I am getting butterflies in the stomach, just thinking about how I am going to one again tonight! haha. Machiam like a little girl all over again. lol.

Ok, hope it all goes well. Wish me luck that I won't be wasting my good friday evening with a nerdy lao shi! No need to be handsome, but at least must be able to hold a decent conversation with me hor, and just because I "stole" your blog idea doesn't mean you can "bully" me, ok? ;)

Ok, I go now. See you soon :)

Lao Zha Bor

Haiz, I thought some bitches were very unhappy with me. Sure would write long long comments to scold me upside down. Eh, boh leh, not a single unfavourable comment.

Hmm, anyway, Moi thinks these bitches really must be some lao zha bor (and some dogs - "dog" is the male version of "bitch" mah -- who are attracted to such lao zha bor), who felt threatened by young lovely gals like me (ok lah, actually I am not that pretty. But I think I beat you lao zha bor hands down :) Please lah, if you want to keep your men, you need to learn how to please him psychologically and yeah, sexually too, because sex *is* a very natural part of a couple's life. This means you need to put your hands and mouth to good use, instead of typing on the keyboard to scold me! :)

And if all that you bitches (and their dogs) know is to scold women like me, sooner or later, your lao gong or bf is going to say byebye to you, because there are many of us young liberated women out there, who treat sex as a normal part of a consensual adult relationship (before marriage), and we won't "reserve" it for that one and only special guy i.e. trading chastity and virginity for love, like you all lao zha bor do!

Hey, of course you are "trading". Why else won't you have sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry whom you find attractive? Because you are frigid and have no sexual needs? Bull Sh*t lah! I am a normal woman and I dare say without any embarrassment that I do have needs! All normal women have, and what is there to be ashamed of? This is 21st century, for pete's sake.

And if you have needs, and there is a handsome unmarried man available, why not mutually satisfy each other (in a safe manner) even if the two of you are not heading towards marriage? Why? I tell you: that's because you are reserving your pussy to trade it with a man's commitment to feed you and to give you a roof for the rest of your parasitic life, and you are afraid that if you do not "reserve" your pussy thus, its value will diminish and you will appear "loose" among men, thereby jeopardising your chance of finding a man who will feed...

Anyway, didn't you ugly bitches and lao doggies go read the links I provided? Tons of like-minded people of my type out there. And I note that they are younger than me! Haiz, you scold me, what's the point? So go change yourself. I give you a tip -- the way to a man's heart is through his dick. A sexually satisfied man is a happy man who won't stray (and won't have the energy to, anyway. hehe). Start there, and stop whining and feeling so insecure. Geez. I didn't steal your bf. You are barking up the wrong tree, bitches!

Ok, I open anonymous commenting for this post again. If you people want, bitch here! I am just a gal, like you. Surely you can confront your own kind without running to any man for help? Geez..

Jealous Ugly Bitches

Wah, I see that I have received some hate mails. Haiz, mostly from jealous bitches. And this is only after writing 2 posts. Amazing! Well, I have a theory why jealous bitches don't like my type: we spoil the market. lol

Long long time ago, in far far away places, women used their virginity and pussy to get their life-long food supply. The unspoken rule is simple. You men must treat us women like queens, marry us, promise to look after us our entire lives, and only then will we let you get your dick in. So those poor men have no choice but to trade life-long bondage aka marriage in return for sex.

Then, as always, there are some women who came by to spoil the market. These women said: "no need marriage lah. Virginity is not important, and chastity is an outdated concept. You happy, I happy, we can have sex anytime even if you don't want to marry me, or even if you are married"!

Oops. The floodgate is opened. Men suddenly realise that they no longer need to treat women that well anymore. No need to pull out chairs, open the doors, or let "gentle-ladies" board the lifeboats first when a ship sinks. All over the streets, there are more than enough "loose" women who dress provocatively and who feel no need to suppress their libido. Marriage is no longer a prerequisite to getting laid. A man can get a good f*** without having to enter a life-long commitment to pay monthly maintenance, even after a divorce!

Of course men are happy. And why shouldn't they? Men gain much more from female (sexual) liberation than women! Who are the losers? That's the "good" girls. Their virginity and their chastity have lost their market value. They can no longer use it to "blackmail" men into looking after them an entire life. Poor thing.

And so, these mentally unbalanced jealous bitches love to swear and curse sexually-liberated women. They may not know the reason conciously, but subconciously, they somehow realised intuitively that the latter are a threat to them getting what they want from men.

Hey, you jealous bitches, this is the 21st century, ok? Wake up your idea lah. Educated and liberated women, such as yours truly, no longer treat marriage as a ticket to free meal and lodging. And we don't use sex to trade for such things. We have sex (yes, multi-partners too. Oops, did I just make you puke?) purely for recreation , just as men do, before marriage (because we women are sexual creatures too, contrary to the myth that you bitches like to mislead men with). And we get married for emotional attachments. And we don't expect men to pay us maintenance after divorce, since we are more than capable of feeding ourselves and we don't want to rely on men whom we dislike.

Oh, and by the way, don't act as if I am an eye-opener to you. Are you jealous bitches living in some ivory tower or what? Geez, I merely stated my *opinion*. There are many others who put their liberal opinion into *actions*! Check out the links I put up on my sidebar, specially for you people. Haha, your entire mind blown away? Face it, *many* women subcribe to gender equality. Your type are outdated.

Ha, entire market spoilt hor. You pathetic bitches, go on, call us loose women. Too bad. You prim and proper type are destined to be left on the shelf. Or if married, your lao gong will one day leave you for people like me who *merely* said that *sometimes*, married men are more attractive than some loser-singles. (Did I even say I slept with some poor woman's husband)? Geez! Such is your insecurities. Boo!

(ok, I be good. I not only allow commenting, but anonymous ones too! Go on, make my day! I gotta go to work now. When I come back, make sure I see at least 10 scoldings from you jealous ugly bitches! And let me see how many of you dare to use your own account and how many are anonymous cowards, just like me! lol)

"正人君子"

I posted a comment at a blog, and it was deleted :( Hiaz! Nevermind, I reproduce it here, to the best of my memory:

"Actually hor, being a not-so-young girl, I think I can say with true honesty that married men are sometimes more desirable! hehe. More money, more status, more maturity, more capability, more experiences in life and in ... :) Plus quite exciting - excitment of not getting discovered, and of him finding you more attractive than his wife. Besides, he has already been "endorsed" by one of my comrades. Sometimes really better than some of the no-girl-wants type of singles.

But don't bash me lah. I did not commit adultery with any married man hor. Just that I had some married colleagues who flirted subtly in office with me previously lah! Gosh, no wonder I need to be anonymous. Write until like that, how can don't be anonymous? lol"

According to my super memory, something like that lah. Like that very R-rated meh? Nah, don't think so lah!

Anyway nevermind. Other people's blog, other people's world. If they somehow feel the need to maintain a "正人君子" image on their blog, it's their right. I will simply repost it in my blog lor. My cyber-world has no need for such "正人君子" (with quotation marks) aura :)

a fo golb ehT

sselecaF

sselemaN

suomynonA

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The blog of a...

Faceless

Nameless

Anonymous

Coward!